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The Scottish Office ministers to its Friends
Secretary of State for Scotland - Rt Hon Michael Forsyth MP.
We're afraid to say very much about him - he can get quite angry,
as his majority's so low, and he wants to get back in. Besides, he's
just fallen out with Stephen Dorrell, and might end up falling out
with John Major! So far, only Dorrell's got shafted! We're rooting
for Michael.
Minister of State - Lord James Douglas-Hamilton MP, responsible
for Health, Social Work, Home Affairs and Roads and Transport. Lord
James will be the House of Commons spokesman on Arts and Historic
Scotland. His Ministerial title is: Minister for Home Affairs, Health
and Pre-prepared Scripts.
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - George Kynoch MP, responsible
for Industry (including Planning and Water. Mr Kynoch will also have
general responsibility within the Scottish Office for Deregulation and
the Private Finance Initiative. He will be the House of Commons spokesman
on Forestry and the Environment. His Ministerial title is: Minister for
The Destruction of Indigenous Industry and Local Government.
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Raymond Robertson MP,
responsible for Education (including Training), Housing and Urban Policy,
Fisheries and Sport. Mr Robertson will be the House of Commons spokesman
for Agriculture. His Ministerial title is: Minister for Education, Housing
and Fisheries. Confusing, isn't it. This is because we don't have enough MPs.
Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - The Earl of Lindsay,
responsible for Agriculture, Rural Affairs, Natural Heritage
(Environmental Protection), Forestry, the Arts and Historic Scotland.
Lord Lindsay will be the House of Lords spokesman on all Scottish Office
affairs. His Ministerial title is: Minister for Agriculture, Forestry
and the Environment. Only the Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Party
puts unelected placemen in charge of you. Just like the old days!
Scottish Law Officers
The Rt Hon Lord Mackay of Drumadoon is the Lord Advocate, the principal
law officer of the Crown in Scotland. Beside his role in the system of
public prosecution, he is the Government's legal and constitutional adviser
on Scottish affairs.
Mr Paul Cullen QC, the Solicitor General, is the Lord Advocate's deputy,
just in case he's busy.
The Lord Advocate and Solocitor General are Ministers in their own right
and are independent of the Secretary of State for Scotland, but they
always do what he says anyway.
Know Thine Enemy Dept.
SCOTTISH CONSERVATORY & UNICORN MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT
Aberdeen South | Raymond Robertson MP | |
Ayr | Phil Gallie MP | (Small Majority) |
Dumfries | Rt Hon Sir Hector Monro MP | |
Eastwood | Allan Stewart MP | 'The Axeman' |
Edinburgh Pentlands | Rt Hon Malcolm Rifkind QC MP | |
Edinburgh West | Lord James Douglas-Hamilton MP | 'Paper Brain' |
Galloway & Upper Nithsdale | Rt Hon Ian Lang MP | 'Dracula' |
West Aberdeenshire & Kincardine | George Kynoch MP | |
North Tayside | Bill Walker MP | |
Stirling | Rt Hon Michael Forsyth MP | (Small Majority) |
The Party for people like you run by people like us!
Each of the 72 Scottish Constituencies has a Conservatory & Unicorn
Association made up of local members of the Party. The local Association
affiliates to the Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Association. Each
local Association is responsible for selecting candidates for Parliamentary
and Local Government elections. The Associations are responsible for
campaigning and fund-raising within their constituency. It's all very
confusing really. Oh well, we only hold 10 out of the 72 seats, so it
doesn't really matter.
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